Most people looking for Mister or Misses right often fail to heed the warning signs when they’re first noted. In fact, people looking for that special someone tend to write off these warnings or excuse them for one reason or another. For example, if you find yourself dating a past drug user, you may excuse this based on the fact that you have experimented with it yourself or that you’re not perfect either and don’t have the right to judge someone else. Another example might be the way the man you’re dating talks to his mother. He may justify this by telling you that’s just how they’ve always communicated and then you overlook it. This is going to spell trouble later. I assure you that if he isn’t respectful to his mother, he won’t respect you.
Now, I’m all for second chances. Most of us have done something in the past we wished we hadn’t, but if it’s an addictive behavior your potential mate had – make sure that it was years in the past.
Dangerous Red Flags:
1. Addiction to drugs/ alcohol
2. Jealousy
3. Quick to anger
Any of these will likely indicate that this person, whether it be male or, sometimes now female will become verbally, emotionally or physically abusive.
Caution for Orange flags:
1. Clings too much to mother
2. Different religions
3. Large difference in intelligence level
These things one should be cautious of; these relationships might be workable, but make sure to get to know the person better before proceeding too quickly. A man who clings too much to his mother is going to expect his wife to be like her, cook like her and clean up after him as she would’ve done. Persons with different religious beliefs can often have serious conflicts. Same with the intelligence level. If one wants to have serious discussions with their mate, it’s best that he or she is capable of carrying on a conversation. This would also help to avoid jealousy in the relationship. One wouldn’t want a potential spouse to brag to their friends about how smart you are and then, behind closed doors tell you how stupid you are.
One last consideration, know if your potential spouse is going to be willing to defend you should the need arise. And always listen to and heed that little voice inside you. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Pay attention to how this person treats others. If they’re considerate and open doors for strangers, excuse themselves for nearly running into someone, they’re likely going to be considerate to you.
Watch how they interact with friends and family. If they embarrass them in public, they likely won’t have a problem embarrassing you in public and in private either.
Alicia